On a sultry July day, with the threat of rain in the air, a dozen people gathered at Smith House on Mount-Royal Park to participate in the 5th Anniversary Mourning Walk, followed by a pot-luck picnic. They were grieving their wives, husbands, mothers, fathers, brothers and in one case, a 35-year-old son. For some, the pain was still raw and bewildering. Others now a few years past the initial loss, come back to the walk every once in a while, to listen, to console and to enjoy the comfort and camaraderie the group provides.
“Everybody mourns differently – there’s no right or wrong,” explained Gloria, whose younger brother died a year ago. “The walk is very therapeutic. You see how other people have healed and you hope that, one day, the sun will shine for you again.”
Five years ago, Alice Lehrer approached Dr. Bernard Lapointe, Chief of Palliative Care at the JGH, and Hope & Cope with the idea of starting a weekly walk on Mount Royal for those coping with loss as a result of cancer. While Hope & Cope has been offering a Bereavement Support Group for many years, not everyone is comfortable with the support group format. Walking in the fresh air in the beautiful, peaceful setting of Mount-Royal Park has been beneficial to many people since the weekly walks began. As Mark Spires noted, “I appreciated the Bereavement Support Group, too, but the walking group really gets you out of your funk. You can just enjoy the exercise and know that you always have a place to go to discuss your loss.”
Alice maintained that the walk is the highlight of her week. She remains inspired by everyone who has come through the group and is happy when they no longer feel the need to attend because “It means they are back on their feet.”
“Alice has been a blessing,” said Michael. It’s a sentiment shared by everyone in the group, who noted that her commitment remains solid regardless of Montreal’s notoriously temperamental weather; she has been there in the pouring rain and in blizzard-like conditions.
Participants also had praise for the group’s two newer volunteer co-facilitators: Sharyn Katsof and Miriam Sultan, who both joined within the past year. As a young adult cancer survivor with degrees in psychology and social work, it was suggested to Miriam that this volunteer position would be a perfect fit for her. “I was helped by Hope & Cope and wanted to give back. This group is amazing – I’ve gained so much more than I give,” said Miriam. As for Sharyn, she enjoys meeting people wherever they happen to be in the process. “Everyone has a different perspective on loss and deals with it differently. I learn something new every week.”
“On one level, nobody can help you – you have to go through the grief,” concluded Maria Levitt, whose husband – her best friend and soul mate – died a few years ago after 50 years marriage. “Still, the group is wonderful – you can express yourself and listen to others. I came for two years and would definitely recommend it.”
If you recently lost a loved one to cancer and would like more information about participating in Hope & Cope’s Mourning Walk, please call 514-340-8222, ext. 8535.
